Ashburn Wildlife Sighting

Mastodon on the Loose
A mastodon braves the snowy streets of Ashburn, VA.

Long thought extinct, residents of Ashburn, VA, a suburb of Washington D.C., were stunned to find a lone mastodon roaming the streets during a recent snow storm. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” marveled David Keener, a local resident.

Scientists and wildlife experts are at a loss to understand where the lone mastodon, a distant relative of today’s elephants thought to have gone extinct some ten thousand years ago, could have come from. Some have even declared the sighting to be a hoax, saying, “Produce the animal, and then we’ll believe you.”

Except for a few photos, the mysterious creature seems to have disappeared into the swirling snowstorm shortly after the initial sighting. “It’s always like this,” said Angstaad Hill, a well-known investigator of what he calls anomalous events. “The establishment doesn’t want you to know what’s going on.”

When asked why, Hill responded, “That’s the big question, really. Are the facts too scary? Or is something else going on? What are they hiding from us? I think we have a right to know the truth.”

Whatever the facts may be, Ashburn residents are proud of their peerless pachyderm. A GoFundMe page has been created to fund “Believe the Impossible”, a project to create a life-size mastodon statue, which will be placed in a park next to where the animal was first sighted.

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